


Holding on for life

by happydingle



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, comforting Aaron, robert overthinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 21:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11021937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happydingle/pseuds/happydingle
Summary: Set a few weeks in advance from right now. Robert has a break down because he is scared Aaron is going to leave him. (In this version her who won't be mentioned did leave so they don't know she's still pregnant.)





	Holding on for life

**Author's Note:**

> The lodge scenes when Robert had a break down were acted so perfect and I don't understand how he isn't going to crack again with what is happening. So I basically wrote something I'm not sure where it was going and I might do a second one of Aaron helping Robert get actual help but I don't know.

Robert couldn't help it wherever Aaron was he had to be. If Aaron went to the toilet in the pub he would be following a few steps behind. When they ate their dinner he always made sure there knees were brushing. When they sat side by side he would always grab his hand and hold on so tight. 

He wasn't aware how much he was doing it untill Vic mentioned it.   
' I'm guessing you and Aaron are good now? You cant seem to keep your hands off him?'

'What? Am I not allowed to touch my husband?' 

'I didn't say that I'm just happy for you if your happy'

'Well yeah I am' 

Robert thought about the conversation that night when he couldn't sleep he rolled over and stared at Aaron whilst he slept like he did most nights. He thought about what Vic said, but he wasn't happy. He was living his life on the edge of a knife scared that one day Aaron would turn around and tell him to get out because he realised he deserved so much more than him. He couldn't blame him it was all his own fault. That's why he couldn't keep his hands off him, it wasn't even sexual like it had been during the affair when all Robert could think of was the next time his hands could roam Aaron's body. No this was different. He felt like Aaron was a anchor now when he touched him the only thing keeping him together he couldn't let go he had to hold on for his life. 

*** 

A few weeks later the village was in the middle of a heatwave. They were lying in bed. Aaron with his back to Robert typing on his phone with the fan spinning round on the ceiling. Robert moved closer and wrapped his arms around Aaron's middle. 

'Robert get off will you it's to hot?' 

'Yeah of course sorry' 

That's when Roberts heart broke was this the beginning of Aaron not wanting him around? Was he using the heat as a excuse? Who was he typing away to? Had he found someone who could treat him properly? Robert wouldn't blame him Aaron was beautiful he could get anyone... 

***   
The next day they were watching a film together Robert with his head on Aaron's lap. 

'Robert sit up Im going to the toilet' 

When Aaron returned he didn't sit in his previous place he sat on the chair with his legs spread out there was no way Robert could sit next to him there wasn't enough room had Aaron done this on purpose? said he was going to the toilet just so he could move seats because he couldn't stand to be that close to him anymore?

*** 

A month had passed now a few skipped dinner dates later, nights lying further away from each other in bed, not even sitting together to watch the tv. Robert knew it was coming to a end. He was right Aaron could never forgive him for this why did he think he could? That's when he broke. Aaron hadn't returned back from work 3 hours ago when he was supposed to. He was sure he was getting ready to say the words Robert was dreading. 

*** 

When Aaron returned the house was in complete darkness. 

'Robert?' 

He heard a sob coming from the kitchen and Robert was hunched against the floor crying holding on to their wedding photo. 

'I'm sorry, I'll get my stuff I'll leave you alone' 

'Robert what are you on about? Why are you getting your stuff?' 

' I love you I love you so much it scares me Aaron and I want you to be happy. But I can't do that no matter how much I wish I could I can't, you don't even want to be around me anymore' 

'Robert shut up. Of course I want to be around you what are you on about?' 

'We don't cuddle in bed Aaron you don't even sit with me on the sofa' 

'Robert that's because it's bloody hot outside? I don't want to sweat in bed and I didn't want to tell you at the time but that sofa you picked out isn't comfy it makes my arse go numb I prefer the chair it's comfortable' 

'R-really that's all it is?' 

'Yes Robert if i didn't want to be with you I would have told you I wouldn't have told you by sitting in a different seat where not in school' 

'I know but' 

'But what Robert? I'm happy, well as much as I can be right now stop overthinking?' 

'But Aaron I need to feel you, have you close by you keep me safe' 

'C'here' 

Aaron pulled Robert in to him on the floor. Robert gripped on to Aaron's arm whilst Aaron ran his fingers through his hair. 'Shh it's okay I've got you' Aaron whispered into Roberts hair. 

Once Roberts sobbing had calmed down he let out the tiniest whisper.   
'People don't ever forgive me Aaron I wouldn't blame you' 

'Shh people don't stay with me Rob, I especially don't have people scared to loose me.' 

'I am I always am'

'I know but I'm not going anywhere okay?' 

'Okay' 

Robert nestled his head into Aaron's shoulder and they stayed there for the next hour. Aaron new they weren't okay they still had a way to go. He also knew no matter how much he wanted to hug him so tight he could fix all his broken pieces that wasn't a option. He knew Robert needed help but for now this is all he could do.


End file.
